Dear S----,
I knew you were going to do it. Yesterday you broke up with me. You're terrified, and I'm sick of it. Every time we get close, you push me away, and each time we try again, we get closer. It only makes the separation worse. We're finished. I don't want you coming back. You said you need to date other girls because you have no clue who you are. I informed you of that, but I don't want you using me to figure yourself out. You really are lost. Your feelings are on a roller coaster, and I don't want to be a part of them anymore. We're at different points in our lives. I know what I want. You don't. I'm tired of waiting for you. I'm always waiting. This time I'm not. I know you'll come back, but don't expect me to welcome you with open arms. They will be resistant and harsh. I'm always the one that gets hurt by your indecisive behavior. I don't want to be tossed around anymore by your whimsical feelings. I don't want you to even think about dating me again. I've given you so many chances already. Burn that paper I wrote about you. Don't touch me anymore. I'm not going to be your in-between-dates-girl so you can string me along, or your backup, or your friend with benefits.
Sometimes I think it would be better if we didn't even talk. You said that dating other people will help us to get to know each other better. You're a liar. You have no clue what you are talking about. I can't be around you. I didn't tell you this, and I never will. I loved you. I always did. Remember how I would look at you, and you would smile, nuzzle noses with me, and ask, "what?" then I would smile even more at you and say, "nothing,"? Remember that? That was me telling you then. I would tell you all the time, but you're such an idiot that you never knew. Maybe you did and never returned it. I wish I never told you.
When we broke up, I thought we could still be friends, but what good is a friend if you can't trust them because they throw around your emotions? I saw you today, and you acted like everything was great. You sat with me to talk, and you chatted like we were the best of friends again. You squeezed my knee and I pushed your hand away.
"Don't touch me," I said.
Who are you? Did you ever really care for me? I have put my emotional wall up again. My fortress. You will need to work damn hard to bring it down this time. I'm not going to let you in as easily anymore, if ever. I haven't shed a tear over you; you're not worth the effort or the headache. The parts of my heart that you've touched are dead. I no longer feel them. I will be happier pretending you never existed.
I couldn't think of a clever closing. And yes, I'm okay. And yes Professor, you have permission to kick his a-- if you ever see him around ha ha. Thanks for taking the time to read everyone! Sorry, I didn't mean to be a downer on our awesome blog.
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